Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Thoughts and Beliefs

We are phoney, both you and I.
God forbid if you could read my mind!
Yes, we talk about truth, but we both know, we all lie.
And yes, at times, there could be a difference in what I do and what I want to do.
But never in what I do and what I believe is right!!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Just Another Dayyyyyy

Its funny how I have absolutely nothing to do on a (wait, let me check my phone to see what day it is...) Wednesday evening except sitting in my room, looking out the huge square window to see gorgeous greeen trees (two trees to be precise) and fooling myself into believing that I am actually holidaying on a hill station!! Of course, this was before I decided to sit in front of my laptop instead.

It is so frustrating at this point that I swear my hands shake while writing. Like how you sometimes cannot fall asleep when you are just too tired, I am unable to express due to the extent of the pent up frustration I have within... Feels like a bomb, ticking away... trust me!!

People think that the unemployed, unmarried, living-with-parents ones are just so lucky they have nothing to do, no responsibility, no money nothing! Life is just a big, never ending party! Let me tell you, that is absolutely untrue! Its a myth! You have not been unemployed for over a month if you actually believe that such a life would be a blessed life. No!
It is a curse, my friend! I have been unemployed for over three months now (due to reasons, I believe, I do not necessarily have to reveal...just know that if I had any other option I would have never EVER quit my job in the first place!) and I am dying, stagnating... I think my fingers are melting...!!!!

Have you seen movies like Zombieland or the Dawn of the Dead? Those creatures?? Yes, I am like one of them... (you really might wanna stay away... I am being nice so I am warning you...) You will not believe, at times I just sit on my bed, stare out my beautiful large windows and munch. Chips, chocolate bars, cakes, chocolate nutties?, fancy cakes!, munchies....! Basically, munchies.
Other times, when I can bring myself to do it, I watch old movies on my laptop that I have probably seen a zillion times (no brainers okay! I don't want to be using too much of it when I am in this zombie-state! One of the regular features in this list of movies is 'Scary Movie', all parts, so you know what I mean when I say 'kill the grey cells'!!!!!!!)

You know how they say that when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up? Don't you think thats a load of crap made up by someone who must have been way too optimistic in life! What if you don't move after hitting rock bottom? You might just end up spending the rest of your life resting under that rock's bottom! What then huh? The smart-ass-optimistic-douche did not give a solution to THAT, now did he!

I mean, no I am not looking for sympathy! Do not pity, patronize or condescend... I am just telling you what a regular day in my life looks like at this point. Ok? Cool!

So, when its time to watch t.v.,(cos trust me when you really want to watch something on the television, you find NOthing!), I do not miss those really hilarious, ever entertaining Star World sitcoms. I never ever miss the numerous repeats of each of those episodes either! Like just yesterday I watched the same 'Rules of Engagement' episode...Twice. Oh and not to forget that really funny episode of 'Everybody Loves Raymond'. I had the fortune of watching it thrice!

And now, I sit here blabbering to a screen! I probably have zero readers! Even if I stuff curse words here and type random letters, nobody would know....cos nobody would read! Heh.

Lets just pretend that you really are interested and wanna know why I haven't started working yet!

Answer: Well, I do not think that I need to give you any explanations and justifications! I will start looking soon. There are some things that need to be done first. Once they are taken care of, I shall inform you!

I cannot come up with more poems... I think its gone. I think I better go too... I am sure Star World has something really interesting playing for me. Right. This. Minute. If not that then theres Animal Planet, Discovery, Zee Cafe, HBO, Zee TV?, Aastha Channel!!!!, if nothing else works I'll just watch Sony. They always have CID playing and I must tell you that I am a huge fan. Huge. Like huge. As huge as Daya.

Monday, September 12, 2011

This Journey We Are On

You were here till yesterday.
Now all that is left is me and today.
Though I don't know what tomorrow will bring,
Rest assured it won't lead your way!

For my way, I know, is far and long.
This life is mine as is this journey I am on.
Throughout the way and till my last breath I will sing.
With or without someone by my side, I know one day I'll reach where I belong!!

Peace of Mind...

I feel so burdened with this guilt that I have begun to justify your wrong doings. I simply cannot undo what I have done but I can certainly take solace in the truth and honesty of my feelings.

Each day I ask myself 'Why!?' and the only answer, reasonable answer, I can come up with is me! And for this reason alone, despite all the pain and injustice I have suffered, I can perhaps say that I deserved it.

If I could just wipe off that one wrong move maybe I would be able to put all the blame on you and get on with my life.

But I can't. But then again, something's GOTTA give, right??!
Where IS the peace of mind????